Poison Ivy
Oh the friends we make in life. Some are so natural and so self revealing that you can’t help but bond and cling and long for their company. Some appear so docile and beneficial that you just don’t imagine that any danger could lurk beneath the surface.
But then there are others; those who present themselves in colorful arrays, displaying the wares of kindness only to leave behind a virulent residue that will continue to burn and irritate long after their actual presence has been tossed on the fire and burned from your life. I know you have all experienced this kind of relationship. What first appears to be a welcome addition to your life soon reveals it’s true self becoming a threatening poison-laden encounter that you must violently extract lest it overtake you and consume your every wakening moment.
Poison Sumac
Why the metaphors you ask? OK, I’ll tell you. Not the metaphorical, but the literal poison-ivy is consuming my every thought. A couple hours of routine yard work a week and a half ago has turned into a constant and ever present reminder of why I (outdoor lover that I am) must always be on my guard when I am out in the woods. I am so highly allergic to poison ivy in all it’s forms that I go to great lengths to avoid the little bitch plant at all costs. I have studied live samples and pictures and am constantly on the look out to avoid this predatory plant lying in wait in it’s self-protective mode ready to pounce on my unsuspecting flesh.
Poison Oak
Maybe it’s just me, please tell me if you have this same experience. I find these three dangerous plants to be very much like many people that I cross in my life. Unlike my favorite loather of humanity I tend to love all people, give them the benefit of the doubt, and generally find good in everyone. But I have to qualify that statement by saying that for some, and I do believe they are in the minority, like the beautiful poisonous plants pictured above, their beauty and goodness can only be taken so far. I’m sure you have heard the Arabian proverb “keep your friends close — hold your enemies closer.” Like the caustic vines of poison ivy you cannot afford to turn your back or your attention away for some who try to get close to you. You must know a man to know his intentions. You must get close to a man to hear his beating heart. Some times it is only within an enemies embrace that you will discover the unsheathed dagger.
So in the meantime while I am trying to figure out who my true friends and enemies are, I am slathering on the calamine lotion and trying my best not to claw the flesh from my bones while the remnants of this cursed poison ivy rash runs it’s course. Both arms, both sides of my body, one leg. You know if you’ve had it. Constant misery. Another reminder of a lesson yet to be fully learned.
September 22, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I encounter this a lot and know that half of it is my fault. I tend to really like or dislike people right when I meet them but sometimes my radar is off. Certain people have pulled the wool over my eyes and then months later I’m left wondering how to dump the toxic waste of their friendship.
I’m going through some of that right now actually so I dig your metaphor!
September 22, 2008 at 7:55 pm
I seem to attract fucktards. I don’t know why and rather than keep them close I pretty much eject them from my life as soon as I figure out what they’re up to. It’s just not worth the effort.
And sorry about you being extremely allergic to the ivy. Blech.
September 23, 2008 at 12:12 am
Good Attitude.
September 23, 2008 at 3:25 am
We don’t have the pleasure of Poison Ivy or the others on this side of The Pond. Metaphorical Poison Ivy? Oh yeah – we have that by the shed load!
September 23, 2008 at 9:48 am
Oh yes, I’ve caught that poison ivy every single summer since I can’t even remember. I know what it feels like. That’s what I get for building stone walls along the edge of the woods. Thankfully, the misery only lasts less than 2 weeks; much longer for the other kind that is more difficult to get rid of.
September 23, 2008 at 11:16 am
Hilly: Being an extreme introvert, I tend to have a small close group of friends, so when one goes viral it can be very uncomfortable.
CMGD: Talk about a fatal attraction! My biggest pet peeve: Mean-Stupid-People.
Evyl: Coming from you a great compliment! I can imagine you cleaning the friendship house down to the bone. I always admire your straight forward commentary.
Penelope: Be very glad of that. It is wicked, wicked stuff if you are allergic.
Kerri: Oh but what a long two weeks! The constant itching is enough to drive me batty.
September 23, 2008 at 3:24 pm
I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and I trust until I’m shown a reason not to. I find that to be a horrible character flaw. I’d much rather give trust and remove doubt AFTER I know more. Sort of like respect…it’s not something everyone deserves and just tossing it willy-nilly undermines it’s true essence.
One word of advice: when potentially around poison ivy, do not touch your penis. Just ask my husband. True story.